It has been quite a while since I have felt like I have a measure of control over my life. There are moments here and there but for the most part it's like I'm trapped in a weird wormhole, careening out of control, without aim, purpose or self worth.
I've gained weight, been overwhelmed with crushing stress and anxiety, and I'm not the mom I want to be for my kids nor the kind of wife I would like to be for my husband. At the same time, I have also learned some valuable lessons about what really matters in life.
At nearly every family gathering I attend, I find myself tearing up and feeling an overwhelming sense of peace and gratitude for the loved ones I proudly call my family (both my birth family and my married family). I know without a doubt that if the world fell apart, we would all come together with a strength and force that few have ever seen. We would combine our drive, determination, intelligence, dedication and faith (in all its forms) and we would survive. In fact, I believe we would thrive. Perhaps that's what makes us great and what sets us apart from many others. We may not have a great deal of money collectively, but the strength of our family bonds is something that cannot be bought, traded, sold or auctioned off.
I've embraced and relied on my spirituality to get me through difficult moments, hours, days and months.
I've learned that honesty and humility won't kill you or make people turn away from you. I've learned that I enjoy working with my hands and exceeding people's expectations. I love being creative and doing new things that no one else does. I've learned that the love Trent and I share is real, true and pretty durable!
It's funny how these things are taken for granted as we go through the motions of our life.
And today I feel a renewed sense of peace that I feel is noteworthy. Today has been a good day.
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