Working to Find Work

My About Me blurb used to say, "I work full time as a copywriter and hope to find my niche working from home eventually." Well, the new blurb has been changed to reflect my change in circumstances from hoping to work from home eventually to "spending hours everyday developing my work-from-home niche."

It has taken me a surprisingly long time to really identify what my true passions are and to take steps to prepare myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually to fully explore these options. Those who know me well can attest that I am the kind of person who knows what she wants and has a plan for achieving those goals. I am stubborn, tenacious, thorough to a fault, perfectionistic, critical, open and determined. When I was laid off in March, I was sad and exhilarated, scared and highly optimistic.

Two months later, I have yet to receive a call back in response to any of the resumes I have sent out in response to job listings for 9-5 jobs I am absolutely qualified for. I sometimes see it as a "sign of the times" and the stressed economy. But most days I see it as a strong indicator that I am not destined to work a regular 9-5 job. I have a strong entrepreneurial drive and never really felt at home in an office environment where admiration and respect was often based upon one's physical appearance, clothes and accessories or family connections.

I want to be recognized for my efforts, not for my new suit or designer bag. I want to do good for others. I want to design, cultivate and watch a business grow. I want to work with new and enthusiastic people. I want to be creative. I want the time to be a mother and a professional. I want a life that is in line with my personal goals and ideals.

With all of this in mind, below is a listing of the various things I have in the works:

1) I am actively blogging about the job search process and related items at http://www.candicebemish.wordpress.com/. Please check it out and leave comments, pass the url along to anyone else you know who is looking for a job.

2) I am now writing for examiner.com as the Phoenix Attachment Parenting Examiner. I get paid based on numbers of clicks, so please, please, visit often, sign up for updates and pass the link along to any mamas you know who would be interested in the content. My page can be found at http://tinyurl.com/pd8ndm.

3) I am working on getting our spice business up and running with a business identity (logo, packaging, etc) and will start marketing it as soon as we have pretty packaging to show people. I'll post the web address for the spices when I have a name and url.

4) I am working on creating simple websites for hair stylists or other trades using free online templates. If you know of anyone who could use something like this, let me know. Often people don't know what to write, or how to utilize the online templates. I will help them get a site in place and will then teach them how to maintain it on their own. The first 10 people will get a special price of $150, a $50 discount off the standard rate.

5) Lastly, I have a few freelance items in the works as occasional income generators.

Phew! So that's a little update about how I'm doing. If you have any great ideas or connections that would be useful to me, please shoot me an email, call or comment. I can use all the help I can get!

Many thanks to everyone for sending my family and me your love, prayers and support during this time of transition. I feel it and am grateful for it every day.

Are We Human, or Are We Dancers?

Yesterday was a special day for me. When I woke up, I had plans to hang out with my good friend Michelle for a while but I didn't know what the plans were. She had emailed me the week before asking if I could get away by myself for a while for a surprise. Normally I'm not a huge fan of surprises, but my curiosity was piqued and I was excited to spend time with her sans kids and husbands.

She picked me up at 10:30 a.m. and started driving. We hadn't had a chance to talk in a while and I proceeded to verbally unload. At about 11:10 a.m. we arrived at Massage Heights in Gilbert (Val Vista and Baseline roads). She told me she was treating me to a one-hour massage followed by lunch. I was shocked, delighted and humbled. Without words, emails, texts or tweets, she received a "call" from the universe that I needed this. I needed the retreat, the rest, the love.

She then gave me instructions for my massage. No talking. No thinking. No worrying. No stress. Relax, rejuvenate, find my center. Allow the therapist to go deep and help me work through all of the challenges I've been facing. At this point I was ready to burst. It was as if someone was filling my proverbial blessings cup to the point of overflowing.

We each enjoyed our massages and to my surprise I didn't cry through the experience. I simply enjoyed the time, the attention and the space to just be. I quieted my mind with a meditation, breathing in "Sat" and exhaling "Nam." Kundaliniyoga.org gives this explanation of the mantra: Sat means the Truth; Nam means to call upon, name or identify with. Sat Nam means Truth is my identity and I call upon the eternal Truth that resides in all of us." How appropriate. The therapist (Tiffany) was wonderful. She not only massaged my muscles, but she also soothed my psyche, helped bring me back to my center, and restored me to my Truth.

Afterwards, we sat down to lunch on the patio at Pei Wei and talked together for a while. Again my cup was filled to overflowing through a friend's unconditional love, sage advice and rock-solid support. When she dropped me off around 1:30 p.m., she handed me a cd with my final instructions for the day: Listen to songs 2, 6 and 9 of The Killers' Day & Age album. And really listen to the lyrics. Let the music fill me up and take me to the next level.

I did just that this morning after dropping Delaney off at school. Driving with the windows down, music blasting, I bathed in the wind, the notes, the lyrics and Michelle's intentions for me. I cried again and felt the supreme energy that love and goodness affords us. How blessed I truly am.

I feel like a completely new person today. I am renewed, revitalized, filled again with hope and determination. I cannot thank you enough Michelle. Thank you for sharing your love, light and friendship with me. I'm a better person today because of you!

P.S. - About the title of this post: The title refers to song 2 of my playlist from Michelle - "Human" by The Killers (actually an LDS band from Las Vegas). I found some sites quote the lyrics as, "Are we human, or are we dancers?" and others saying the lyrics are, "Are we human, or are we denser?" I personally prefer to think of humans as dancers, spending our lives following our passions and expressing our souls freely. In Paramahamsa Nithyananda's book Living Enlightenment, he relates the story of a Zen master talking to one of his students. And I paraphrase - The student asks if an enlightened person speaks and the Zen master says "no." The student then asks if an enlightened person stays quiet. The Zen master replies "no" again. Confused, the student asks how this is possible and the master replies that an enlightened person sings! His words, his actions, his essence sings. I believe that song and dance are related, interchangeable and equal expressions of our inner state. Today, I am a dancer.