So I'm sitting here, the kids are asleep and I can't stop thinking about my past. The people, the places and situations that played a role in shaping the person I am today. And today isn't the first time I've traveled "back in time" in my memory. It's been happening a lot lately. Maybe it's because I've recently experienced a life change with the birth of my son, perhaps it's because Delaney will be 13 next month and heaven knows that the tides all changed when I turned 13, or maybe it comes from being totally comfortable, secure and happy in my 5-year marriage to Trent, maybe he and I are entering a new phase of our relationship that opens us up to re-learning ourselves. Whatever the reason, so far it's been an interesting ride.
I have re-lived some hard times, but I'm finding that my reminiscing more often takes me to good periods in my life with good people. I giggle again thinking about my adolescent crushes, wondering if the boys had any idea how infatuated I was at the time. I remember the crazy situations I found myself in with my best friends. I remember how it felt to be me every step of the way. And during these memory sessions I have an opportunity to look at how far I've come as well as where I could use some work!
And in the end, I feel great looking at where I'm at in life. Every day is a challenge on some level - from attempting to function on 4 hours of sleep and finding the balance between work and family to identifying avenues for personal expression and still being a connected and present mother to my kids - but it's all worth it, it's all part of where I've been and where I'm going and I'm grateful for the journey. I'm grateful for the memories. I'm grateful for the phenomenal family and friends that have surrounded me throughout my life (that's you, dear reader!) and I look forward to the times ahead and the new memories we'll create.
So, cheers to the past and hooray for the future!
