It's been a crazy long time since I have posted and after a pretty good day, I read a blog entry or two about a woman whose husband lost his job and I find myself in tears again. Right now I'm sad that I lost my job.
Grief is weird that way, I think. Just when you feel like you're over it and happily moving along, something crops up and takes you back to the sadness, the disappointment, the hurt, the embarassment and the loss.
I truly believe that things happen for a reason and most days I try with all my might to keep things in perspective, but like a bad breakup, 7 months later I'm struggling to move on.
I'm bummed out that we are down to one car, I'm really unsure what's going to happen with us financially, I don't know if working freelance can work for us or if I should be knocking on companies' doors. I dread thinking about how it would affect Mia and Bodhi if I went back to a 9-5 job or how they would do if we lost our home. I hate not being able to take Delaney shopping for school clothes and not having the money to give her to go to the movies with her friends.
On the flipside, I am trying my hand at mixed media art. I have done a couple small-scale pieces but am really looking forward to creating large-scale works. The first will debut in our living room.
I have also had the unique opportunity to be home with my kids more. I get to take Mia to preschool in the mornings and I took 2 trips to Idaho this summer.
I cook a lot more now. I make a mean lasagna, have a killer party appetizer, created a gourmet potato casserole and made homemade jam all by myself (Pearberry Plum and Cinnayummy Pear).
I've written a few poems, read a few books. I've meditated, prayed, spent time with friends and family and cried on my husband's shoulder.
Who knows what will happen tomorrow or the next day, but for today I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and pray that I'm on the right path.
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